Blast from the Past
by Ninja C
Summary: James has flashbacks. Oh, yeah, and also suicidal tendencies. Oneshot.


**Blast from the Past**

**Aww, look. It's my first fanfic – only edited and therefore infinitely more awesome and grammatically correct.**

**I am ignoring my research paper for you people, so FEEL HONOURED.**

**Disclaimer: I am so, so sorry for this quality. Read some of my other stories if you want actual coherence. Or the actual Harry Potter books. Which I do not own. Yeah, **_**that**_** was the point of this thing!**

Sirius ran, his blood pumping in his ears. Why in Merlin's name did Lily Evans have to live so far away? Now his had to run fifteen bloody blocks to warn her. She was the only one who could stop his best friend and surrogate brother. James Potter was going to kill himself.

* * *

She looked so beautiful, her eyes sparkling on that night. She wore a green halter dress, the same color as her magnificent eyes. He could hardly contain himself. After dinner, they went for a walk in the nearby park.

Lily looked so radiant, so gorgeous, that James just couldn't wait any longer. He stopped walking. "Lily, there's something I want to tell you. I love your view of life. I love your opinions, your intelligence, your mindset. I even love that fiery temper. I love your hair, and your eyes. Lily, I think I love you."

He had expected her face to light up in delight, for her to excitedly squeal, for her to say, "I love you, too!" But what came next dashed all of his hopes.

Lily's face darkened. She looked confused, almost guilty. "I'm so sorry, James," she said after a while, "but I don't think that what I feel for you is love. I'm so sorry, James." And so she held him for the longest time. He didn't cry. But his insides felt like they had stopped functioning – especially his heart.

They finally broke apart. "I'm sorry," Lily whispered once again, then Disapparated. James finally fell to his knees, now alone in the dark park, head in hands, and began to cry – sob – bawl – like he never had before.

* * *

This had happened one week ago. One week of hell for James and his friends. One minute he'd be fine, as though Lily had never existed, then the next, he'd make no noise at all – just sit with a blank, bleak expression upon his face.

James had gotten to a point where he couldn't take it anymore. He left Sirius a note telling him where he was. James wanted him to be there. He had tried to fall out of love with Lily, to forget her, but it wasn't worth it anymore. Nothing was worth it.

* * *

Lily sat on the couch in the living room of her flat. She honestly looked a mess, not having done anything with her appearance that whole horrible week. She still felt absolutely terrible about what she'd done to James. Lily wondered why she still felt so miserable, though, almost like her own heart was being ripped out. Could it be that she possibly had stronger feelings for James than she'd thought?

All of a sudden, Sirius burst through the door, the last person Lily expected to see.

"Lily," he panted, "I've just run fifteen blocks to get you. James-"

"Couldn't you have just Apparated?"

Lily almost laughed at the look on his face. She could practically hear his thoughts trying to work out this new bit of information. She hoped Sirius wouldn't hurt himself.

"You have to come, quick!" he recovered quickly. "James is desperate! He's going to kill himself!"

Lily quickly stood up, a feeling of panic washing through her. James was going to kill himself because of her! She didn't know how she could live with herself, without James. Well, if this didn't signify her feelings, Lily don't know what would. She loved James Potter, and she had to stop him before it was too late.

Lily grabbed Sirius' wrist. "Haven't you tried to stop him?"

"Yeah, but I had to stall his suicide. He wanted me there, you see, so I told him I wanted to give him my last respects and went to go 'gather my thoughts.'"

"Come on."

They Apparated to about half a block from where Sirius said James would be. Lily pushed Sirius ahead of her to do what he had to do. She had to prepare herself to see James' head hanging through a noose.

* * *

Sirius came around the corner. "Took you long enough," James said.

"Prongs," Sirius pleaded, "You're my best friend. Don't do this."

"But don't you see, Padfoot? This past week has been torture and I can't take losing Lily anymore! I still love her, I can't live without her! So you see why I have to do this. Bye, Pad. Tell everyone I love them." James took a deep breath and looked up to say goodbye to the world one last time. But then he happened to see a certain redhead. And she was calling his name.

Lily rushed at him, hair flying, eyes blazing. She looked as though she'd barely slept, eaten, or showered in a week. And boy, did she look beautiful.

"Don't you dare pull that rope, James."

"But why? Don't you see? I've got nothing to live for!"

She reached the noose, pulling it out of James' reach with such force that the rope snapped.

"Because I love you, too," she stated, pulling him into the tightest hug he had ever felt.

James pulled Lily close to him so she wouldn't see his tears of joy. "I love you. So, so much," he whispered into her ear.

Lily chuckled as she felt his shoulders shaking, his tears falling onto her shoulder. "Hey, hey," she soothed," I love you, too, you big crybaby." Good. That made him laugh. "Come on. Let's go back to my place, and don't you ever scare me like that again."

**God. It was so funny/painful to look back over this (I wrote it when I was thirteen). But I was just so embarrassed by it that I had to go back and edit it so I could repost it.**

**We're in English class right now, and Unigu Mika (you should look up her stories) is making me laugh so hard I think I'm gonna piss myself. MAKE HER STOP.**


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